So check this out...Lindsay Lohan was involved in another car crash. This is now the star's 3rd car crash in 14 months.
Media was abuzz with the incident...as usual.

I don't understand what all the fuss is about. The chick crashed 3 times in 14 months. She can't drive! It shouldn't be news anymore. I'd be more interested to hear she made it from her home to the corner store WITHOUT any automotive mishaps. I mean, isn't that part of that road test thing that people normally do.
Then again, she is a woman...

Hmmm...I'm really thirsty. You know what that means. It's time for:

Random blarb of the Week!

So I'm sitting with my friend David in his car and I've got this really snazzy hat on. I look at myself in the mirror, place it nicely and then with an evil laugh, I say:

Kofi: It's mine! The hat is mine! Muahahahahahaha!
David: Whose hat is it?
Kofi: It's my hat...
David: Oh...ok...

I thought I made it obvious. But anyway...

So check this out: in an effort to raise awareness about the tragedies of war, Unicef Belgium has created a short animation showing our beloved blue friends, The Smurfs, killing each other. They will be slaughtered and their homes bombed to rubble in full technicolour on Belgian TV.
But wait, there's more. Smurfette is killed (shock!) and Baby Smurf is left crying and orphaned at the edge of a bomb crater.
The 35-second animation is aimed at raising funds for former child soldiers in Africa. Julie Lamoureux (someone important somewhere) said, "In 35 seconds, we wanted to show adults how awful war is by reaching them within their memories of childhood."
The film will be screened after 9pm to spare the feelings of the Smurfs usual audience.

Firstly, appealing to adults with images of little blue people being maimed? I mean, if we can handle hours of real people dying gruesome deaths on TV and enjoy it, how is transferring the concept to imaginary blue happy people going to generate sympathy?
Secondly, cartoon characters getting horribly maimed? May I just throw out a few random words at you: South Park, Itchy and Scratchy, Wondershowzen? Cartoon violence is nothing new and would rather appeal to the little kids more than the somewhat homosexual world of the real Smurfs.
Thirdly, it's after 9pm. No body is going to miss that crucial beginning of Desperate Housewives or CSI to see little blue people dying. Those who would don't deserve to own a TV.

Frankly I think this plan is flawed from the beginnning and will never work. Here's a better idea: tell people to give you money otherwise you'll fill all the channels with images of Jay Leno bungee jumping naked.
I don't see why I don't work for the UN...

Now that must really suck!

I am surrounded by strange friends. Honestly. Sometimes I even wonder how I came to be associated with them. But then again, I suppose birds of a feather do flock together.
Anyway, about my friends. They are random. Maybe not as much as me but definitely very random. In fact, this week has been so filled with spontanteous gems of inspiration that they've resulted in a new section on the site. So together with the choruses of angels, glady welcome:

Random blarb of the Week!

And this week's Random Blarb of the Week is:

"So this policeman gets to his home and finds the door locked. Then he opens it."
Awkward silence...
"Then what? Is that it?"
"Yeah."

Sometimes I wonder...

Men have spoken of an angel. One whose soul radiates with a disturbing light. A light that pushes men to be more than they thought they could be.
One whose silhouette casts the shadow of eternity and the hopes of something better than this mediocre life.
They say her eyes pierce your soul, leaving you feeling vulnerable, open and scared and that her smile soothes that fear, replacing it with warmth and a feeling that some say resembles first love.
Her words carry people away to fantastical lands where dreams walk and men fly. She gives them a superhuman strength that they might otherwise have never felt. They say it all lies in her heart, which possesses a peace and a beauty that can only be found in the light of the setting sun.

Many say this angel is a myth. But I think I've seen her too.
Wandering in between my dreams.

I'm sure you're all as shocked as I am. Could it be true? How? Why? Faced with irrefutable proof, we now know beyond a shadow of a doubt, the naked truth:

A MODEL WAS CAUGHT USING DRUGS!!!

When did the moral fabric of our society break down to this level? Models, who were our beacons of light and inspiration. The last bastions of integrity and morality in this, our decaying society. One could truly say that they were more than just fashion models...they were role models.
And now this.
What have we come to? Where models are now using drugs? Who would have thought. Next thing you know, you'll have models representing other destructive forces in our society such as anorexia, chain-smoking, shallowness, materialism. One might even see a great model like Naomi Campbell throwing a tantrum. The future is dim dear readers. Very dim (like most models I know). Pray with me that the other models do not succumb to such evils. For our sake and the sake of our children.

And in related news, scientists claim sarcasm is the highest form of humour...

Well October has officially begun. A new month, new opportunities, new stuff.
So you know what that means. It’s time for…

Kofi’s Amazing Song of the Month!

Yes people, a new month is not complete without my opinion on what you should be listening to this month. We give a wave of respect to “Shout out louds – The comback” after gracing September with their beautiful guitars, synth and vocals.

Now who can take up the crown after such a cool song? Well, after much deliberation, I found this month’s amazing song. And truly amazing it is.
Therefore minions, I hereby decree that Kofi’s Amazing Song of the Month is:

Juliette and the Licks – Got Love to Kill

And so it is.